Overcoming your fears

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The infant River Thames in the Cotswolds as it starts its own personal journey 215 miles from source to sea

If fear is stopping you do things in your life, I have a powerful new way to manage it that can help you overcome its negative impact and benefit from the positives instead!

A feeling of fear or fearfulness can be disempowering, de-motivating and very unhelpful to many people. It can be an obstacle in the way, stopping people from achieving their goals. It can be a barrier that deflects people away from the direction they want to go in sending them off in other directions, all over the place!

The good news is, that you can set yourself free of fear. You can acknowledge your fear and work with it rather than against it. You can change your mind set and see fear in a different way.

One of the powerful and positive benefits of coaching is that it can help you to create for yourself an empowering perception. This can be done by focusing on your strengths and skills, and reframing your thinking, so you turn problems into opportunities, and negatives into positives.

Let me give you a personal example. I used to be fearful of speaking in front of lots of people; a common fear for many. I hated being the focus of everyone’s attention; their eyes and ears and thoughts!  So I took myself on a personal journey and discovered the value of working through these issues and confronting my fears.

I worked out what it was that I actually wanted instead of being fearful of what I didn’t want. I focused on my strengths and skills rather than what I saw as my weaknesses and threats; and I discovered that instead of FEAR, I had False Expectations Appearing Real – isn’t that a great way to see and understand your fear? Take a minute to think about it.

This really helped me, because once I had made the realisation that actually there was nothing to be afraid of, I was free to be me. Now I can talk in front of people with passion, sharing a clear message from my heart with nothing stopping me.

You can make the same exciting discovering for yourself. The key to reframing your fears is to ask yourself three useful coaching questions.

  1. How does this problem make me feel i.e. A?
  2. What is the opposite of that feeling i.e. B?
  3. How can I change that feeling from A to B?

In coaching, this is called taking your disempowering perception, all the “I can’t” and “I should” language in your head and turning them into empowering perceptions “I can” and “I will”. You see how this is already much stronger and more confident.

It is taking you away from the undesired state to your desired state of being. It is actually about understanding how to use your mind’s language to specifically achieve the desired state, the one you want.  This is the wonderful world of Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP as we call it in coaching.

Another way to help you live a better life, free from fears and anxieties, is to clearly understand your personal core values. This will help you to use them daily to motivate you, understanding what you want in your life; and how to lead the life you want – maybe I’ll write about that another day!

I hope this is helping you. Please contact me if you would like my support on your journey; or for more details.